trishaface

birth and moving days

2010-04-28T11:08:00.003-06:00

i can not wait to move out of this horrible town house and into an actual house with an actual BACK YARD! i'm going to be such a home maker, planting a garden, painting pictures to hang up, redecorating with new furniture that i can't afford, and best of all, buying a whole new wardrobe for my whole new house living self!
oh also, its my birthday on monday so feel free to buy me some couches or bookcases for my house!

no love, LOVE

2010-04-12T23:13:00.001-06:00

thinking about utah. i'm so much happier here and now but i can't help but think that all my friends liked me a lot more when i was there and then.

rah mah

2009-12-17T11:59:00.003-07:00

i'm happy. and somehow being happy makes it harder for me to blog and appreciate what i am writing. re-reading older posts makes me realize that when i am sad, its so much easier for me to convey my emotions through writing. when i am happy, i don't have time or the need to explain my emotions to a gagillion online viewers. i would much rather be happy but sometimes i miss my old bloggin style. one day i'll work it out. best of both worlds, right miley cyrus?

new england baby burp chowder.

2009-12-09T11:00:00.003-07:00

a long time ago, diego bought some soup for me because i was sick. i think he basically just grabbed every different kind of soup he could find. i ate all of them except for the new england clam chowder. mostly because i've never had clams and it sounds disgusting. unfortunately, the only food in my cabinets today was that new england clam chowder. i thought that since i was starving i would try it. i got about two spoonfuls in when i dripped some on my pants and realized what the smell and texture reminded me of: baby burp. i threw the rest away.

a little bit for jen and a lotta bit for me.

2009-10-09T11:47:00.004-06:00

i am so tired of all my facebook news feed being dedicated to people bashing obama and his nobel peace prize. i may not agree with all of his policies but i think he has done a lot to change the attitude of the american people as well as instill hope in people all over the world. sure he hasn't necessarily done anything tangible yet, like end the war or get rid of my debt BUT i'm sure he would if he knew that my uterus is currently trying to detach itself from my body. anyways, obama is a great man and a great leader and if you don't agree with the award being given to him, why don't YOU try to join the Norwegian Nobel Committee and next time maybe your opinion will actually matter.

in other news, i have been watching bravo a lot recently (mostly just for project runway reruns, rachel zoe, and top chef) and i have stumbled across this horrible (yet addicting) show, million dollar listing. first, these realtors are like 20 years old and they are making thousands of dollars a day! it sickens me. i work my butt off hoping to get a 20% tip on a $50 tab and these boys are rolling in nice cars and designer clothing. i can't tell which sickens me more, these boys and their luxurious lifestyles or my debilitating cramps.

clearly its that time of the month.

hey look!

2009-06-25T10:17:00.001-06:00

i got a ring!

two actually.
you know what that means....

(and yes i just woke up)

should be any minute now

2009-05-14T13:37:00.003-06:00

i have a few random friends on facebook. like people i've met once or twice but never really knew. and i'm always confused/surprised when they put on their status that they "cleaned out their friends" yet i can still see it. GO AHEAD, DELETE ME. WE DON'T EVEN TALK. maybe i should just delete them. yep done and done.

11:16

2009-04-29T08:25:00.006-06:00

4 days till i turn 21.
here are some presents i will accept:

1. a blog from jen. COME ON B!

2. air conditioning for my car. or if thats not possible i would accept another car.

3. a cd player for my car.

4.
5. either a little kitten or a beagle puppy. either will work for me.

thank you and happy birthday to me!

chilly bones

2009-04-16T09:04:00.002-06:00

everyone keeps promising me global warming but it is 46 degrees outside right now. FARENHEIT! 46 DEGREES FARENHEIT. the next person to talk about global warming will be sued for false advertisement. by me.

i hate jets

2009-03-30T13:51:00.001-06:00

a jet just flew by my apartment and it was so close and so loud that someone's car alarm went off.

its been going off for ten minutes now.

i cant help it

2009-02-12T09:24:00.003-07:00

valentine's day and birthdays are always disappointments.
because no matter how much i don't want to have expectations for a really romantic day, i still do because society forces it upon me!
diego asked me what i wanted to do for valentine's day and i said: work.

i'm trying to memorize all these wines for work so that i can sell a lot and make a lot of money. but i just can't understand how something could taste like mixed berries, SMOKE, EARTH, violets, and MINERALS and still be appealing.

darevil

2009-02-08T08:48:00.001-07:00

yesterday was my first day of real non-training work at my new job.
it was pretty slow and i only had three tables the whole night.
BUT i got $90 in tips.

rut-a-tut-tut

2009-01-30T19:11:00.003-07:00

sometimes when i write a blog, i write it just for a certain person. i will think, oh right "carlos" reads my blog. i think "carlos" would really like my blog if i wrote something like "this." i do it a lot. and then i want to go and delete those blogs because do i really care what "carlos" thinks? but then i don't delete them because of course i really care what "carlos" thinks.

i used the name of my car as a general name referring to everyone whom i have tried to impress with my blog.

i also just tried to impress everyone with my usage of "whom." but re-reading it, i think its incorrect. impressed?

doncha

2009-01-29T16:52:00.002-07:00

my boyfriend's cousin is a supermodel.

passaporte

2009-01-22T09:05:00.003-07:00

dear bank account,
please multiply and replenish my money.
love,
trisha

dear new job,
please pay me for training TODAY.
love,
trisha

dear dad,
thanks for paying for all those things for me. you have kept my bank account positive for 3 months. much appreciated.
love,
trisha

dear botetourt county court,
please send me my receipt so i can have my license unsuspended.
no love,
trisha

dietribe

2009-01-17T18:54:00.002-07:00

i only eat under two conditions:
1. diego calls me and tells me what i want to eat or,
2. i go out to eat with diego and he tells me what i want to eat.

being indecisive is turning out to be a pretty good diet plan.

ooh look. DIEgo, DIEt.

borders upon borders

2009-01-16T13:25:00.007-07:00

today, i ordered five books. i didn't mean to order five. i meant to order three. the first three i picked out, cost $35.69 and i meant to pay $25 with the gift card that danny got me for christmas and put the other $10.69 on my card. but i'm retarded and somehow didn't understand how to use a gift card. SO, then i still had a $25 gift card and even though i was devastated at having bought $35 worth of books when i had 25 FREE dollars, i decided the FREE 25 dollars should not go to waste. so then i bought $25 dollars worth of other books.
overall, a good day.
here's what i got:

the virgin suicides by jeffrey euginides

everything is illuminated by jonathon safran foer

diary by chuck palahniuk

the mysteries of pittsburgh by michael chabon

such a pretty girl by laura wiess

obrigada

2009-01-08T12:46:00.003-07:00

in brazil they have a dish similar to egg salad but they call it mayo or mayonnaise.
so today when daniel was making it, i said, "are you going to put mayonnaise in that?" and he said "what is mayonnaise?" so then i explained it to him by saying, "its the same as mayo." and he said, "what is mayo?" so then i did the only thing i could think to do to explain it and pulled it out of the fridge to show him. and then he said, "i know that's mayonnaise or mayo. but this is mayonnaise AND mayo." and pointed to the unfinished dish.
i have a hard time communicating with these brazilians sometimes.
but mayo/mayonnaise is delicious.

wii queremos jugar

2009-01-07T10:11:00.003-07:00

turns out that the wii is actually a very valid form of exercise.
ever since diego got it, i have been playing all day every day.
and now i am so sore i can barely walk.
now i don't have to pay for a gym membership which is convenient because i still don't have a job.

don't judge me if i end up working at wendy's.

we've made our decision

2008-12-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

i'm a slob and i need a job.

don't talk about that rhyme.

lets pretend we dont exist

2008-12-18T18:51:00.001-07:00

please take a look at how much my little sister admires and looks up to me.

hahaha.

but seriously, i want to just eat that child right up so that she'd always be with me. but i guess after i ate her, i couldn't poop for a while. hm, what seemed like such an easy plan is actually flawful.

prison break.

2008-12-05T23:56:00.005-07:00

yeah i'm obsessed.
three variables contribute to this unlikely obsession:
1. i'm unemployed and therefore have a lot of time on my hands.
2. i'm sick so i don't want to leave the house.
3. diego has seasons 1 & 2 so that was the easy choice to occupy all my time.

oh also i guess a fourth variable is that wentworth miller is sexxxy.

modeling lips

2008-12-03T18:03:00.003-07:00

with my new unemployment-ness, i have renewed my obsessions with blog stalking, the food network, sleeping, and all HGTV shows. my life is complete again!

once again, i want to get married, have kids, decorate my beautiful house with all my money i make at my whatever-i-want-to-do job, and cook gourmet meals once in a while for my family. only once in a while though because i think if i do it all the time, they won't appreciate it as much.

i'm gaining back those 12 pounds with brazilian food. blehbleh. i'll start running some time.

say yes to everything

2008-11-28T11:02:00.006-07:00

does anyone read this anymore?

i quit my job so now i will have more time to blog. maybe. maybe. actually i should probably look for another job rather than blogging but as today is my first official day of unemployment, i will enjoy it and take advantage of it.

some things as of late:

i went home for thanksgiving on wednesday and came back yesterday.
i moved to virginia beach from norfolk.
i have a boyfriend and we like each other.
i'm learning portugese because my boyfriend is brazilian and speaks broken english.
bettina cut my hair recently and its healthy again.
i'm gonna go back to school eventually.
not byu, but school.
i need winter clothes.
i'm watching true life i'm a shopaholic.
i've lost 12 pounds since i've been in the norfolk/va beach area.
i call it the poverty diet.
i've had my blog for about exactly a year.

i'm tired from driving all day yesterday.

zzzz.

puhlease.

2008-10-05T02:17:00.000-06:00

i know. i know.
blogblogbloggg.

when i am sad

2008-09-11T18:58:00.002-06:00

also, i was never trying to complain or call myself ugly when i posted that list. i was simply pointing out that even though i don't have the qualities that society and the media say are beautiful, i still spend at least 10 hours a day looking at myself. whether through quick glances in a door window as i walk by or brushing my teeth in the morning, i enjoy looking at myself. beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. truly.

salvaaaation

2008-09-11T18:50:00.002-06:00

oh geez. i just locked myself out of my house for about 2 hours. i just sat outside and waited for someone to get home. no one did. so i broke in through my roommate's window. i don't plan on telling her about that. thats the highlight of my week.

work is blah. i would rather have a different job but i can't afford to quit without a backup plan. [no dad, you do not count as a backup plan.]

san francisco in the mid 60's

2008-09-02T15:23:00.002-06:00

know what movie i hate? fear and loathing in las vegas. if i want to waste 2 hours trying to experience drug induced trips, i will simply do drugs. i'm so tired of this movie.

lazy tuesdays

2008-09-02T14:55:00.001-06:00

so far today i have only done seven things worth mentioning:
pee
pee
pee
pee
pee
pee
pee
nothing else.

bah de dah de dah dah

2008-09-01T13:39:00.002-06:00

awful awful awful. no one should even treat their close friends that way and for some reason i hardly saw it coming. i definitely considered the possibility, but i also just thought it was different. i thought he was different. i thought i was different. he's not, i'm not, it wasn't.

work is new and good. tina from work is new and good. hanging out with tina from work is new and good. i need to go shower and then hopefully tina will be off work and we can go do shtuff.

today was the worst day to work because i had to wake up early and there were maybe 5 sales for the whole 4 1/2 hours i was there. which obviously means no tips. none. which means i made about $20 today. i would have rather paid pete $20 to sleep. dannnnng.

my bank account balance is $979.97. i think thats higher than it ever was all summer.

stir it up

2008-08-26T16:45:00.003-06:00

i don't have an incredible jaw line.
or an impeccable nose.
or a teeny tiny waist line.
or gigantic knockers.
or beautiful silky smooth hair.
or cute tan feet.
or long elegant fingers.
or finely toned calves.
or full lips.
or brilliantly white teeth.
or a flat nice stomach.

i'm just stuck with a witch hump nose, forgettable jaw line, thick waist, baby boobs, frizzy hair, pale feet, awkward hands, fat legs, skinny lips, yellow teeth, and quite the stomach.

and somehow looking in the mirror isn't a chore for me.

disclaimer

2008-08-26T07:39:00.003-06:00

if you choose to read my blog that means that you are choosing to read not only my normal every day thoughts but the thoughts that the crazy side of my brain has. like the ones that get repeated in my head at top speed until i say them or write them. please don't make me censor myself. if you don't like what you see, you are in no way obligated to continue reading.

hi. how are you?

2008-08-25T20:54:00.004-06:00

i started painting my dresser.

can you see it? can you? i'm pretty satisfied.

i started work today as well. this is the first day of my life. actually, if i could pick a day to be the first day of my life, it hasn't happened yet. every option just seems like a bad way to start a life. things are getting better though. i do enjoy waking up and having responsibility. i enjoy knowing i can pay for things myself. and even some days, i wake up and i don't wish i was someone else.

i want to read a book that makes me thiiiink. middlesex is good but it hasn't led me to any new conclusions on life like rant and the bell jar did.

just now i tried to decide which of those two books [which i just recently read] changed my life more [or made me think about it more] and i honestly can't decide.

somehow this turned into a long rant about books when i really just want to write about you. but its better that i don't.

2008-08-24T09:21:00.001-06:00

its hard to be happy with things as the way they are when you can imagine how they could be.

i treat you wrong

2008-08-23T15:25:00.004-06:00

norfolk you.
norfolk me.
norfolk us all.

at the moment, i'm so glad to be here. i like having a job, a house, some classes, new people to meet and watch, new things to discover, new places to see for the first time ever. like that first time i ever stepped off the plane in utah and seeing those mountains and not believing them. its easy to get so comfortable with places, people, animals, books, music that you no longer recognize the beauty of it. repetition repetition repetition.

i still get lost inside of this city.
i still get lost inside of myself.
think about that. i can find my way around provo utah like a pro and i only lived there for less than two years. i've lived inside this body and these thoughts and fingers and knees for 20 years and i still never know what they will do next. anticipation procrastination position repetition repetition.

i'm going to take a math class and an art history class at tcc. two classes that i know i can do well in for only 6 credits which will hopefully be enough.

ohh man

2008-08-19T18:24:00.000-06:00

breathe in. breathe out. deep breaths. concentrate. iiiiiin. ouuuuuut.

2008-08-17T15:36:00.003-06:00

l_l
l_l
l_l
l_l
l_l
l_l
l..l

make them understand

2008-08-10T20:20:00.003-06:00

i just took a long hot bath and thought about everyone that i know and how much i hate them because i can't seem to talk to anyone about anything. and then i realized that its all basically my fault because i dug this huge hole for myself and didn't tell anyone else and now i have no one to blame but myself if there is no one there with a rope waiting to pull me out. then i jumped out without washing my hair or even shaving because i thought i might actually really do it if i stayed in there one more second.

keep the madness low

2008-08-08T10:40:00.002-06:00

i have great, deep, meaninful conversations with myself; where i argue two different positions on some thought and they both are equally convincing.

colorshow

2008-08-02T07:09:00.004-06:00

i love my baby sister to death.

today i ran into a corn field. hah. i'm an awful driver. i was too busy concentrating on getting a moth out of my car so i ran off the right side of the road. then i over corrected (it had just rained) and i spun to the left, i tried to correct myself again and pressed on the gas and ran straight into a corn field on the left side of the road.

okay your turn

2008-08-01T18:46:00.004-06:00

if you're going to tell me what i want to hear, make it believable.
convince me.
if you're going through the trouble to lie, do it well.
i deserve more than a halfassed little fib.
if you're trying to take the easy way out, tell the truth.
otherwise, give me a legitimate lie.

yeah... so, uhh

2008-08-01T16:36:00.003-06:00

i often think that i am a lot closer to people than i really am. i have a hard time judging how well i really know someone and therefore tend to act the opposite of how i should. when i really know someone, i often act like we are mere acquaintances and when i don't know someone very well, i treat them like we've known each other since kindergarten.

i'm babysitting emma tonight so that desta, laura, and ashley can go to some book release party. i feel trapped because all i want is to go on a drive but i can't because emma's car seat has also gone to the book release party. its only 715 but i'm already ready for her to go to bed. maybe i'll make her run some laps around the house so that she'll be tired.

watching t.v. shows always gives me this false confidence to be able to talk to guys and be really forward about what i want and what i have to say. i get so emboldened watching the script induced confidence the girls in these shows have but then as soon as i turn it off, reality strikes and i know i won't ever have the guts.

pretend love

2008-08-01T07:42:00.004-06:00

i have only a few things to say. first, i hate texting because i cannot determine tone of voice or intonation through a text so i just make it up how i want it to be. texting simply opens more opportunities for me to make up my own conversations with people. second, i'm scared to death to move to norfolk. i officially did not get accepted to ODU which means that i will have to work and live which, fine but how will i meet people? i'm so bad at meeting new people because i've never actually had to do it. thrid, i wish i could pause time on this beautiful cloudless morning.

just like a ride!

2008-07-31T17:50:00.003-06:00

i am on fire. the best kind of fire you can be on.
red hot.
floating through the day on a cloud of smoke.
suspended in air just above my rocky reality.

it doesn't bother me that i'm just avoiding the crap aspect of my life. it doesn't embarrass me to admit that i'm simply evading the more important aspects in my life. if i can always feel this great, i'm never going to worry about real life again.

blips

2008-07-29T09:37:00.004-06:00

virginia is so beautiful. yesterday i went to bears den for about 4 hours and i've never felt so comfortable sitting on giant rocks. leave to want ever don't i.

i have a bad habit of twisting words and sentences and looks and phone calls and texts and emails and facebook comments and conversations that i am not a part of into something they really aren't. and i don't always make them into things i want to hear as much as things i absolutely do not want to hear. paranoid. destroyed. schizoid. null and void.

my life is currently in retrograde. reliving freshman year at college in so many different ways. depending on whether i am accepted or not, i'll be at a new school; the friends that i tried to kick out of my life during sophomore year are here to stay; even my attitude towards life is back in freshman mode.

it's so nice

2008-07-26T11:13:00.002-06:00

everywhere you could look i have little notes that i've written to myself. maybe i wrote it because i needed a pickmeup and could only get it from myself. maybe i wrote it because i needed to say something so badly but couldn't say it out loud. maybe i wrote it because my voice stopped working and i don't think you could hear me if i tried anyways. maybe i wrote it because if i had opened my mouth i would have ended up screaming. maybe i wrote it just to distract myself from what my hands could do if they weren't writing. either way, i wish i could share them with you. whenever i'm talking to myself i'd always rather be talking to you.

regrets III: let it be

2008-07-18T06:39:00.003-06:00

my blog feels cramped and crowded.

my best blog-worthy thoughts always come while i am driving. i wish i could blog and drive at the same time but i have a hard enough time listening to music and driving at the same time.

i semi-like that my dad reads my blog and i know about it but i also mostly hate it. [don't feel bad dad!] and that right there is the reason why. i feel like i have to censor my feelings or thoughts because i don't want him to read it. but i semi-like it because i think its about time my dad knew some of my thoughts and feelings. [right dad!?]

i haven't updated in a while and i hate when that happens because then i don't know how to start again.

manda said that my blog sometimes reminds her of a younger version of herself. so now i feel all this conflicting pressure to: a. either prove to her that i am myself and unique! or b. that my blog is more like a younger version of her than she thinks. !!!

a day in the life of Dr. Joel Evans

2008-07-10T19:44:00.003-06:00

every patient gets the same couple jokes:
- something about sue being overbearing and a gossip.
- "against your better efforts, we're gonna let you keep these teeth."
- something sarcastic to let the patient know i am his daughter.
- a joke about how/why he makes up different names for his instruments.

every break he plays the same couple games:
- online scrabble.
- online games that are scrabble related: including games that require you to find words amongst letters.

exported

2008-07-05T11:45:00.003-06:00

do you ever try to think of everything?
i usually start with the grocery store.
apples.
bananas.
chips.
bread.
zucchini.
wine.
then i move on to department stores, like sears.
tshirts.
shoes.
boots.
toaster oven.
blender.
lawn mower.
i think its impossible but i try.

babies everywhere

2008-07-03T19:34:00.003-06:00

since she hasn't blogged about it yet:

jen's having a baby!!!!!

yeah right now.

mcmoney

2008-07-02T09:37:00.001-06:00

yesterday i made 100$ cold hard cash by drinking 5 mcmilkshakes.

i'm disgusting but also 100$ richer.

totally worth it.

all new tonight

2008-06-25T19:08:00.001-06:00

getting older feels like i'm getting younger.

i'm ready for me to be me/you to be you/us to be us.

me vs. me

2008-06-22T17:15:00.005-06:00

i disappeared.

i am cleopatra.

i am in love with ashley.

i am swimming.

i'm back to wondering

2008-06-15T11:56:00.003-06:00

i'm sorry.
its just one of those days. i can handle it when its just a regular day but on a day like this, it hurts like hell.
you hurt me like hell.
and then all i want is to hurt you the way you hurt me. i'm sorry that i want to hurt you like that.
i wish you knew how you affect me. i wish i had even the slightest bit of that same power over you.
i wish i could justify not saying any of this to you.

christ jesus don't you leave us

2008-06-15T08:22:00.004-06:00

look at me! i'm back to blogging 3000 times a month! woohoo! actually just twice in two days. don't get too excited.

i just wish that i could reassure everyone that they don't have to worry about me. i know thats a hard thing for me to wish because of what i've done in the past but REALLY, i can see a change in myself that i know is for the better. so if that is reassuring to anyone, i'm glad.

vast and cryptic

2008-06-14T09:20:00.005-06:00

i'm currently deep conditioning my hair with olive oil. ew right? but it will be so silky smooth afterwards.
i need more sleep or more energy. something like that. i sleep all day and then can't sleep at night.
i want ashley and mary to come back from bonnaroo. i miss them.
i want to see my sisters baby when its born. even if it is an alien at first.
i want the full mountain goats "all hail west texas" album.
i want a boyfriend.
i want more money.
i want more clothing.
i want to read a billion books all at once.
i want to own all the books i read so i can have a great library.
i want you to love me like you used to.
i want my utah friends here with me so they can see that i AM happier here.
i want to run.
i want to hide.
i want.
i want.
i want.
i bitch.
i moan.
i'm annoying.
i'm sorry.

2008-06-13T08:19:00.001-06:00

dayum.

timing

2008-06-11T09:48:00.004-06:00

i got my hairz cut.
short short short.
but not
damaged damaged damaged.
win win win.

rose garden memories

2008-06-06T09:32:00.004-06:00

i'm now living with the devereux's. i wonder if ashley still reads my blog now that i live with her. i'm just trying to figure things out and take it easy while i get better. work and play thats all i want. no stress or anything. things are good with my parents right now. i like how it feels not living there.

i also like when people take pictures on my photobooth so i can look at them later and laaaaugh.

every notion

2008-06-03T20:41:00.002-06:00

handcuffed, ambulance, and spent the night in the hospital all within 24 hours.

important updates: i am alive and better and have been discharged so if you want to call me, you can and i will explain everything.

i was happier then

2008-05-20T20:59:00.002-06:00

i hate that joe left right when we just became friends again.

just like old times. but my arms are fatter.

so real!

2008-05-18T20:27:00.002-06:00

i went to a farewell dinner/party for joe tonight. it was good seeing all my old friends. i really missed joe and ashley.

nothing really happens in my life these days. i work and eat and sleep and thats about it. that's why my blog is so boring! sorry!

match made in heaven

2008-05-13T17:57:00.002-06:00

you guys took too long.
he wasn't from the center.
and i called him.
weirrrrrrrrdo.
i have no self esteem/respect.

laughing in the willow trees

2008-05-12T19:18:00.004-06:00

i know i know. my blog is getting an F- for may. i'm so sorry.

today at work, i got two boys numbers without asking. wham bam thank you ma'am. but in all seriousness, do they really expect me to call? maybe i will call one of them because he was really nice and plus i need to date right? but how weird would that be please tell me.

in other news, my little sister has a blog too. melodramatic? probably will be. feel free to read it though. haha.

shout out to chris daddio because he reads this and i found out today. chris loves mormonism. its cool.

p.s. means i just wrote another one below.

2008-05-05T21:55:00.002-06:00

right now i am nauseous and cannot sleep. i forgot to take my sleepy pill because i thought i was so exhausted that i could fall asleep. but i can't. hello self, just because i don't have work tomorrow, that doesn't mean i want to stay up all night.

help: what is the grammatically correct way to say that last sentence? cause i know i said it wrong.

now leave me, please!

2008-05-05T21:50:00.002-06:00

i fall in and out of love with jaxon daily. i feel so bad for him. and me! its hard falling in and out of love 5 times a week!

memoirs of a 19 year old

2008-05-04T18:28:00.006-06:00

i'm back from the beach! it was beautiful for the last half of the week. overall, it was a great vacation. plenty of people around for when i didn't want to be alone. and plenty of rooms in the house for when i didn't want to be around people. i did buy some tanning lotion that i thought would get me a great tan, but it instead got me a great allergic reaction because it had carrot juice in it. why didn't i look for that! oh yeah maybe because i shouldn't have to look for CARROT juice in tanning oil right?!

my birthday was alright. i talked to aubrey on my computer through skype which is the greatest invention i never knew about. then today when i got home, there was a lovely package from andrea which made me homesick.

here are three things i want to do which cost lots of money i don't have:
1. visit aubrey in vienna.
2. visit andrea in the dominican republic.
3. go on a mission.
arcs.

p.s. on the way to the beach, i saw a sign that said "i got my crabs from dirty dick's crab house." HAHAHA. funny. i LOLed.

oh cooooooooool

2008-04-30T07:29:00.004-06:00

the drive down to the beach.
i wish you could see jen a little better because she is OUT.

double whoa squared

2008-04-25T22:12:00.005-06:00

today my dad cut up my debit card. and then i stabbed him in the eye with his scissors.

whoa! deja vu!

but what really happened was that i overdrew my account again somehow. so he balanced it out and took my card away. when he took it, i said, "yeah, cut it up." JOKING obviously. but 5 minutes later, he came and found me carrying 10 little strips of a wells fargo debit card. he showed it to me and i just started bawling. then he said, "maybe you should go for a walk." HAH. so i officially have $2 cash to my name.

whoa! i'm rich biotch!

a couple things

2008-04-25T22:04:00.002-06:00

joe, ashley, matt and i were swimming in matts pool. joe said to matt, "your girlfriend is a whale!" i was so embarrassed.

jeff had been calling me "alaska" for about a week. finally i asked him why. he said, "you're the biggest one in our family."

i'm just sitting on the shelf

2008-04-21T13:59:00.004-06:00

don't worry jen. i have one for you too. i just couldn't upload it.

one minute to midnight.

2008-04-20T22:15:00.004-06:00

i wanted to blog about a dream i had. it has a little bit of language but i shall censor it.

so i'm at some food store with my mom. not like a grocery store, like a fast food store. and we order food and i'm like "oh hey mom, i'll pay for this." so she goes to sit, and then i hand the guy my card and he swipes it and says it was rejected. and THEN he cut it! and i said "what the HECK are you doing?!" and he said, i have authorization to destroy credit cards that get rejected. so then i'm all, "that's not my credit card, that's my F-ING debit card!" so then mom comes up and she's like, "trish whats the problem?" so then i start to tell her but i get so mad that i grab the scissors that he cut my card with and i stab him in the eye. gruesome i know, but then i stab him a lot more after that. and when i woke up, i was all worried about the dream. not about having stabbed a fast food worker with his own scissors, but about having my debit card cut up.

money means more to me than a strangers life. i have a lot of thinking to do.

[p.s. its funny that the only believable part of the dream is that my card got rejected. so f-ing typical.]

[p.p.s. when emma laughs, she says "hahah laughing." like she tells you that she was laughing after she laughed. hahah laughing.]

memories can't wait.

2008-04-20T07:44:00.004-06:00

today is my dad's birthday. [aubrey your dad's too] i woke up and got ready for church altogether wayyy too early. so now i am sitting around waiting to leave. how come this never happened while i was in college?

i'm going back to work at mcdonalds on tuesday. i can't help it. cause even though they don't pay me near enough for all the crap i put up with, i still love it there. i went in there last wednesday and i saw trudy and ms. d and francesca and i couldn't help but want to go back there. i'll still be working for my dad occasionally but i think it'll be good for me to have a job where everyone is genuinely excited to see me.

yesterday i went and played laser tag with my family. it was fun but right before we left i had this major breakdown. dad told me to go change out of the dress i was wearing and i started crying so hard that i couldn't even walk up the stairs.

jeff asked me the other day, with a completely straight face, if i was going to die. my parents didn't tell any of my siblings what was going on, just that it was "health problems." i told jeff that i probably wouldn't but it was a possibility and he told me that he loved me.

this is a lame and boring blog but i have to get back into blogging somehow. so there is my upd-upd-update remix!

virgin[ia]

2008-04-17T11:07:00.003-06:00

today i had blood drawn from my hand. it was actually pretty painful.

apparently everyone in the world is getting married except for me. example: olivia bradley. [do you remember her amanda? she's like 12!!!] and this is the worst: BRITTANY SNYDER! wtf. who saw that coming? and i am mostly directing this paragraph at amanda and jen because no one else knows who i'm talking about. except maybe brett in which case he is included as well.

i've been pretty active so far today which means now i will sleep the rest of the day away. i woke up at 630 and made everyone pancakes. then i took the girls to school. then i made a doctors appointment and went to the doctors appointment. then i got an extension on my online classes and got dad a birthday present. now sleep.

look! i still know how to blog!

2008-04-16T23:09:00.004-06:00

tuesday bruiseday

2008-04-13T16:55:00.002-06:00

i'm just gonna blast some taking back sunday and get my packing done. and then tomorrow, i shall clean.

nothing gets me motivated like some 9th grade memories!

HAHA.

and just pretend that nothing ever happened.

2008-04-11T13:59:00.003-06:00

i've realized that with honesty box, facebook just got a whole lot creepier. did you know you can send someone an honesty box message without being friends with them? CREEPYSTALKERHONESTY.

change is hard. i should know.

2008-04-10T11:20:00.002-06:00

i had some bad habits to quit while i was in vegas. andrea helped me.

okay thats a joke but i do like that picture.

HAHAHA

2008-04-09T20:54:00.002-06:00

amanda- what were those 3 things that julia fullmer used to always talk about when she taught our laurel's lesson? one thing was about the crack in her head and OH the journalism thing. and what else? its been killing me for a while and then i just told jen about it as well. i need your help about the last one.

it won't be long. yeah!

2008-04-09T17:11:00.007-06:00

i'm still awake [32 hours now] and i can't seem to fall asleep.
so its picture time!

in the bellagio.

also in the bellagio.

being a statue.

andrea praying to the indian gods and the catholic gods.

beautiful vegas sky when we left.

there are more but this is already annoying and too much.

candy ghosts

2008-04-09T15:41:00.001-06:00

andrea and i drove to vegas last night. i haven't slept since 9 am yesterday morning. unless you count the two power naps i took in the car. it was fun and i will upload pictures later. i think my brain just died.

whats wrong with the world?

2008-04-08T14:18:00.002-06:00

tuesday sushi meets for guru's.
brunch club meets for dinner.
movie night meets for mid-afternoon.

duhleted.

2008-04-07T21:26:00.002-06:00

i'm deleting my sitemeter because i am obsessive about it and check it far too often. and then i get frustrated because i don't know who is reading my blog.

please tell me if you do.

kthnx.

scheiße!

2008-04-07T13:47:00.003-06:00

things i need to do today:
-take a shower
-get dressed
-call about my paycheck
-find a ride to the airport [next tuesday early in the morning. any takers?]
-start packing
-get a new bank account
-close my other bank account
-biology work
-make plans with friends i want to see before i leave
-call my landlord about cleaning checks
-check the mail
-send my rent check
-get some [right andrea?!] [at least before i leave that is.]

things i will do today:
-lounge around on the couch watching tv
-text people

love's a game

2008-04-04T21:25:00.006-06:00

my parents are here now. i've been living each day one at a time waiting for them to get here. and now they are here and i don't know what to make my next checkpoint. when they leave? when i leave? i would make it for when i leave but i have no idea when that will be. i wish i had a specific day but everything is just so up in the air right now.

blah blahblah.

i like having friends that i just only know online. hahaha. it feels kinda creepy but also kinda new age and hip.

i'm so new age and hip! HAH.

in other news, i'm freezing to death in my own house! brrrrr.

lyrically speaking

2008-04-03T18:39:00.005-06:00

i wake up and i'm fine. with my dreaming still on my mind. but it doesn't take long for the demons to come and visit me. and i've got my problems; sometimes love don't solve them and i end each day in a song.

augmenting my fame

2008-04-02T12:31:00.004-06:00

i have about a week left in provo. depending on how my biology class goes. luckily, i was able to get tuition money back for my dad. he pretended like money didn't matter when i told him. i know he's secretly happy about it but i'm glad that he acted like he didn't care about the money and only about me.

i've never loved the church and my family and friends more than i do right now. i'm so grateful for the outpour of love and support i've gotten from everyone.

love.love.love.love.

dream collaboration

2008-04-01T20:45:00.002-06:00

i had a dream that i was getting married and nathan goodell gave me a skateboard for my bridal shower. haha what a great gift! i wish i would stop getting married in my dreams.

i'm tryin to build a wall.

2008-03-31T16:04:00.000-06:00

obsessed. kthnx.

E! True Hollywood Story

2008-03-30T22:51:00.004-06:00

tuesday is a very critical day.
i have RLS to the EXTREME.
i love facebook messages [inbox(1)'s.]
i wish i'd never told you because you keep acting like you care.

RRRRRR
LLLLLLL
SSSSSSSS

pony ponypony cont'd.

2008-03-29T23:01:00.006-06:00

15. talking to you would probably help me and be pretty therapeutic if i didn't think you were full of shi*. i wish i could believe that you're actually being sincere. it makes it worse that i just can't trust you.

[hehe, does it even count as not cussing if i only leave one letter off?]

strange form of life

2008-03-29T00:17:00.004-06:00

so, i have gone back to being a vegetarian. i have been for about 3-4 weeks. [i don't remember exactly, but brunch club probably does.] its not hard at all for me to not eat meat. i don't miss anything except for sometimes steak. but i don't miss chicken or anything like that. also, andrea has been so helpful and she makes me the best food when i'm too tired to get off the couch. today she made tofu stir-fry and it was the exact perfect blend of spicy and delicious. sooo good. thanks ponybear!

this doesn't apply to anyone that reads this.

2008-03-28T11:30:00.004-06:00

whispers in my ear. 3 days ago they could have changed the world. now they are just annoying brushes against my skin. retrospect is no compensation for indifference. please don't. please.

sorry.

2008-03-27T09:56:00.007-06:00

check out my cool new bruise!

geezuh.

2008-03-26T23:31:00.003-06:00

two asian girls are outside of my window jump roping and talking really loudly. its 11:30.

i fixed the camera on my computer. all by myself! i'm a computer and technology genius.

i need a job like i've never needed anything before.

last night i dreamt about a lot of people that i wish would stay out of my dreams. i used to love waking up right after i had dreamt about him. but now, its horrible because i can't even trick myself into thinking i'll ever be friends with him.

i haven't written jaxon for 2 1/2 weeks. i wish i could make up my mind so that i could stop leading him on. i think i have decided- i just don't want to do what i know i should. i keep telling myself that i've changed my mind because that is the easy way out.

i can already tell that today/tonight will be full of many posts. make sure you read all of them. or none of them probably.

todo sobre mi madre

2008-03-26T23:25:00.002-06:00

"Well, as I was saying, it costs a lot to be authentic, ma'am. And one can't be stingy with these things because you are more authentic the more you resemble what you've dreamed of being."

-Agrado

late night lists

2008-03-26T02:17:00.003-06:00

okay boyfriend, i'm ready to plan my wedding. please meet me now.

springtime should be to share.

2008-03-25T14:51:00.003-06:00

in the past week, i have watched 9 movies.

the crime of padre amaro
la vie en rose
proof
2 weeks notice
when in rome
the testaments
talk to her
sound of music
27 dresses

do i even have a life any more?
this week, i am anticipating at least 5 more:

be kind rewind
all about my mother
keeping mum
the importance of being earnest
whatever movie they show on wednesday at german movie night.

whats your favorite movie?

i make my own decisions, or, i wish you'd leave

2008-03-25T11:21:00.002-06:00

here are a few things i hate right NOW:
1. stupid blogs about me- seriously cut it out. i read it even though you think i don't. if you want to say something to me, SAY IT. this is probably really hypocritical because i'm not saying this to you.
2. my bank account balance. how the HELL do i overdraw so much?
3. well now i can't think about anything but how much money i need.

brandon doesn't appreciate how clever i am.

2008-03-23T00:19:00.002-06:00

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