say yes to everything

does anyone read this anymore?

i quit my job so now i will have more time to blog. maybe. maybe. actually i should probably look for another job rather than blogging but as today is my first official day of unemployment, i will enjoy it and take advantage of it.

some things as of late:

i went home for thanksgiving on wednesday and came back yesterday.
i moved to virginia beach from norfolk.
i have a boyfriend and we like each other.
i'm learning portugese because my boyfriend is brazilian and speaks broken english.
bettina cut my hair recently and its healthy again.
i'm gonna go back to school eventually.
not byu, but school.
i need winter clothes.
i'm watching true life i'm a shopaholic.
i've lost 12 pounds since i've been in the norfolk/va beach area.
i call it the poverty diet.
i've had my blog for about exactly a year.

i'm tired from driving all day yesterday.


zzzz.

puhlease.

i know. i know.
blogblogbloggg.

when i am sad

also, i was never trying to complain or call myself ugly when i posted that list. i was simply pointing out that even though i don't have the qualities that society and the media say are beautiful, i still spend at least 10 hours a day looking at myself. whether through quick glances in a door window as i walk by or brushing my teeth in the morning, i enjoy looking at myself. beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. truly.

salvaaaation

oh geez. i just locked myself out of my house for about 2 hours. i just sat outside and waited for someone to get home. no one did. so i broke in through my roommate's window. i don't plan on telling her about that. thats the highlight of my week.

work is blah. i would rather have a different job but i can't afford to quit without a backup plan. [no dad, you do not count as a backup plan.]

san francisco in the mid 60's

know what movie i hate? fear and loathing in las vegas. if i want to waste 2 hours trying to experience drug induced trips, i will simply do drugs. i'm so tired of this movie.

lazy tuesdays

so far today i have only done seven things worth mentioning:
pee
pee
pee
pee
pee
pee
pee
nothing else.

bah de dah de dah dah

awful awful awful. no one should even treat their close friends that way and for some reason i hardly saw it coming. i definitely considered the possibility, but i also just thought it was different. i thought he was different. i thought i was different. he's not, i'm not, it wasn't.

work is new and good. tina from work is new and good. hanging out with tina from work is new and good. i need to go shower and then hopefully tina will be off work and we can go do shtuff.

today was the worst day to work because i had to wake up early and there were maybe 5 sales for the whole 4 1/2 hours i was there. which obviously means no tips. none. which means i made about $20 today. i would have rather paid pete $20 to sleep. dannnnng.

my bank account balance is $979.97. i think thats higher than it ever was all summer.

stir it up

i don't have an incredible jaw line.
or an impeccable nose.
or a teeny tiny waist line.
or gigantic knockers.
or beautiful silky smooth hair.
or cute tan feet.
or long elegant fingers.
or finely toned calves.
or full lips.
or brilliantly white teeth.
or a flat nice stomach.

i'm just stuck with a witch hump nose, forgettable jaw line, thick waist, baby boobs, frizzy hair, pale feet, awkward hands, fat legs, skinny lips, yellow teeth, and quite the stomach.

and somehow looking in the mirror isn't a chore for me.

disclaimer

if you choose to read my blog that means that you are choosing to read not only my normal every day thoughts but the thoughts that the crazy side of my brain has. like the ones that get repeated in my head at top speed until i say them or write them. please don't make me censor myself. if you don't like what you see, you are in no way obligated to continue reading.

hi. how are you?

i started painting my dresser.















can you see it? can you? i'm pretty satisfied.

i started work today as well. this is the first day of my life. actually, if i could pick a day to be the first day of my life, it hasn't happened yet. every option just seems like a bad way to start a life. things are getting better though. i do enjoy waking up and having responsibility. i enjoy knowing i can pay for things myself. and even some days, i wake up and i don't wish i was someone else.

i want to read a book that makes me thiiiink. middlesex is good but it hasn't led me to any new conclusions on life like rant and the bell jar did.

just now i tried to decide which of those two books [which i just recently read] changed my life more [or made me think about it more] and i honestly can't decide.

somehow this turned into a long rant about books when i really just want to write about you. but its better that i don't.