with my new unemployment-ness, i have renewed my obsessions with blog stalking, the food network, sleeping, and all HGTV shows. my life is complete again!
once again, i want to get married, have kids, decorate my beautiful house with all my money i make at my whatever-i-want-to-do job, and cook gourmet meals once in a while for my family. only once in a while though because i think if i do it all the time, they won't appreciate it as much.
i'm gaining back those 12 pounds with brazilian food. blehbleh. i'll start running some time.
Showing posts with label daily resolution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daily resolution. Show all posts
December 03, 2008
June 15, 2008
christ jesus don't you leave us
look at me! i'm back to blogging 3000 times a month! woohoo! actually just twice in two days. don't get too excited.
i just wish that i could reassure everyone that they don't have to worry about me. i know thats a hard thing for me to wish because of what i've done in the past but REALLY, i can see a change in myself that i know is for the better. so if that is reassuring to anyone, i'm glad.
i just wish that i could reassure everyone that they don't have to worry about me. i know thats a hard thing for me to wish because of what i've done in the past but REALLY, i can see a change in myself that i know is for the better. so if that is reassuring to anyone, i'm glad.
June 03, 2008
every notion
handcuffed, ambulance, and spent the night in the hospital all within 24 hours.
important updates: i am alive and better and have been discharged so if you want to call me, you can and i will explain everything.
important updates: i am alive and better and have been discharged so if you want to call me, you can and i will explain everything.
April 25, 2008
a couple things
joe, ashley, matt and i were swimming in matts pool. joe said to matt, "your girlfriend is a whale!" i was so embarrassed.
jeff had been calling me "alaska" for about a week. finally i asked him why. he said, "you're the biggest one in our family."
jeff had been calling me "alaska" for about a week. finally i asked him why. he said, "you're the biggest one in our family."
April 07, 2008
scheiße!
things i need to do today:
-take a shower
-get dressed
-call about my paycheck
-find a ride to the airport [next tuesday early in the morning. any takers?]
-start packing
-get a new bank account
-close my other bank account
-biology work
-make plans with friends i want to see before i leave
-call my landlord about cleaning checks
-check the mail
-send my rent check
-get some [right andrea?!] [at least before i leave that is.]
things i will do today:
-lounge around on the couch watching tv
-text people
-take a shower
-get dressed
-call about my paycheck
-find a ride to the airport [next tuesday early in the morning. any takers?]
-start packing
-get a new bank account
-close my other bank account
-biology work
-make plans with friends i want to see before i leave
-call my landlord about cleaning checks
-check the mail
-send my rent check
-get some [right andrea?!] [at least before i leave that is.]
things i will do today:
-lounge around on the couch watching tv
-text people
February 04, 2008
pros and cons
things that make me feel complete:
1. knowing/seeing personal parts of people's lives that i don't know/very well. i think thats why i like the things in Found Magazine so much. because they are little snips of people's personal lives that i can see without asking or knowing them. also, reading peoples blogs that i don't really know. weird, huh.
2. movies that shock me. change my life. make me think about more than just the plot lines. even if all they make me think about is what the actor is like in real life or what the actor thought about the plot, at least i'm thinking. right?
3. painting things in my mind. i can even see my hands making the strokes or dragging the paint over the canvas. i hope that one day i can paint all those daydreamed paintings. but until then, i still love doing it in my mind.
4. walking through the snow by myself, but there are other people there they just aren't with me. then i think of something funny, or of a person that i really like, and i smile to myself. then i think about how that might look to people walking around me, so then i kind of chuckle. and then, i think about what that might sound like to people walking around me, so then i full out laugh. and it feels so good to just be a little crazy in that moment.
5. when i'm driving and its warm outside, but not hot. just like, crisply nice weather. so the windows are down and i'm listening to some soft pretty music and i cruise up to a stop light and i'm waiting to start and i smell, from the car in front of me, the light smell of cigarettes and i breathe in deeply and listen closely and feel the soft breeze blow my hair, and i'm infinite.
things that make me want to scream:
1. it's silent and i am only with one person right then and i am thinking of what to say next or what to ask next, and i wonder if the other person is trying to come up with something too or if they are just thinking.
2. when i have the most important news of my life and all i want to do is tell someone, or maybe i just really want to get my feelings out, and i can't find a single person that is interested in listening to me for a long time. so i sit online on gchat AND aim and wait for someone that is remotely interested in me to talk to. because i don't have the guts or nerves to call someone and expect them to listen to me.
3. when i open my window at night because it is hot and then i wake up in the middle of the night, curled up in the fetal position because it is so cold. and i lay there for an hour just curled up because it is so cold that i'm afraid to move to close the window or grab another blanket.
4. i see a picture of my hands or a video recording of me and all i can focus on is my hands and how awkward they are, and all of a sudden i am worried about where my arms are placed and what position my hands are in and what stories they are telling when i am not looking or paying attention.
5. i am on the verge of a question or a statement and that's all i can think about saying and i say it over and over again in my head but i can't say it for fear of being rude or for fear of making a complete idiot of myself or for just plain fear. and so by the time i've built up the courage to actually say it, the moment has passed and i have missed half the conversation.
1. knowing/seeing personal parts of people's lives that i don't know/very well. i think thats why i like the things in Found Magazine so much. because they are little snips of people's personal lives that i can see without asking or knowing them. also, reading peoples blogs that i don't really know. weird, huh.
2. movies that shock me. change my life. make me think about more than just the plot lines. even if all they make me think about is what the actor is like in real life or what the actor thought about the plot, at least i'm thinking. right?
3. painting things in my mind. i can even see my hands making the strokes or dragging the paint over the canvas. i hope that one day i can paint all those daydreamed paintings. but until then, i still love doing it in my mind.
4. walking through the snow by myself, but there are other people there they just aren't with me. then i think of something funny, or of a person that i really like, and i smile to myself. then i think about how that might look to people walking around me, so then i kind of chuckle. and then, i think about what that might sound like to people walking around me, so then i full out laugh. and it feels so good to just be a little crazy in that moment.
5. when i'm driving and its warm outside, but not hot. just like, crisply nice weather. so the windows are down and i'm listening to some soft pretty music and i cruise up to a stop light and i'm waiting to start and i smell, from the car in front of me, the light smell of cigarettes and i breathe in deeply and listen closely and feel the soft breeze blow my hair, and i'm infinite.
things that make me want to scream:
1. it's silent and i am only with one person right then and i am thinking of what to say next or what to ask next, and i wonder if the other person is trying to come up with something too or if they are just thinking.
2. when i have the most important news of my life and all i want to do is tell someone, or maybe i just really want to get my feelings out, and i can't find a single person that is interested in listening to me for a long time. so i sit online on gchat AND aim and wait for someone that is remotely interested in me to talk to. because i don't have the guts or nerves to call someone and expect them to listen to me.
3. when i open my window at night because it is hot and then i wake up in the middle of the night, curled up in the fetal position because it is so cold. and i lay there for an hour just curled up because it is so cold that i'm afraid to move to close the window or grab another blanket.
4. i see a picture of my hands or a video recording of me and all i can focus on is my hands and how awkward they are, and all of a sudden i am worried about where my arms are placed and what position my hands are in and what stories they are telling when i am not looking or paying attention.
5. i am on the verge of a question or a statement and that's all i can think about saying and i say it over and over again in my head but i can't say it for fear of being rude or for fear of making a complete idiot of myself or for just plain fear. and so by the time i've built up the courage to actually say it, the moment has passed and i have missed half the conversation.
January 31, 2008
book of lost things
i'm going to start keeping a book of things i lose every day. and another book of things that i find everyday. i hope i find more things than i lose. actually, i hope they are equal so that i will always have the same amount of "things" in my life. i hope i only find friends and never lose them. i hope i only lose insecurities and never find them. also i hope i find chapstick. i used to find tubes of chapstick all the time.
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