January 25, 2008

how about some credit now?

i realize now that my relationship with my mother is ninety-nine percent more important to me than anything else going on. nothing hurts me more than when she isn't talking to me or when she is being mean to me. i'm glad that i'm able to let it affect me less while i'm out here. please don't make me go back. i don't see how i will possibly handle going back. i can't go back dad. please please. please. but no. not even my dreams can lie about whats going to inevitably happen to us. oh God mom. stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. i cant stop, you won't stop. this won't stop. make it stop stop.

but no matter what i say, don't leave me. don't give up on me. i haven't given up on you.

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