i hate myself for being able to read so deeply into a very simple and shallow relationship. i'm trying to create this super complex relationship out of something that, deep down, i know is just as simple as it appears to everyone else.
everything we say to each other is some sort of code that only i know exists. and only i know how to break it. and of course the way to break it is to turn every sentence, every word, even every glance, into a
secret confession of love.
i do this all the time. only once has it worked out the way i wanted it to.
and even then, the relationship was purely romanticized in my mind as something much more than it really was. and i was left to pick up the shattered remains of my broken heart when i realized what i had done.
i don't want to do that again. not anymore. i don't care if even half the stuff i imagine is true.
i need to stop myself before its too late.
i need to allow whatever will happen to happen.
i need to stop trying to rush things.
i need to stop making something out of nothing.
i need to.
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1 comment:
i do the same thing. with almost every boy i know. i convince myself that everyone likes me so i don't have to confront the depressing truth that no one does. except hunter, who only sometimes does.
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